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SO that sucked . . . and not in the good way

So for my birthday I had hoped to write about what I learned and how I had grown in the last year.  Instead I got called out professionally on a conference call about me not knowing what I am doing.

So I got to sob…near hysterics, try to keep it together until I could end the call. So I am not going to get support from my side, and not from theirs. OK then.  I talked it over with Joe, his recommendation is to go at it like a bitch. In the back of my head I think that really might be the only way.  I mean I’m asked to lead something I know nothing about, and when I try to ask what the next steps are – folks only tell me about the next step.  Makes it damn near impossible to build a plan when you don’t know the components. Apparently folks feel I don’t need to know them to have them included in the plan – yes, they want me to psychically know we need to have them in the plan even though I don’t know the action item exists.  Ain’t that a bitch? So I’ll try it.

I sent out my list of demands this morning and got back 1 out of the 4 responses back I was looking to get. And his was half-assed, as per usual, it’s only about the one due Friday. I asked for 15, I got 1. WTF.  I’ll try again tomorrow with him.

In other birthday “fun”: Dad left a message at work about a funeral going on on Saturday. A) WTF  B) really on my birthday? C) crap I had school plans.

So We went to the memorial.  It was cool. He had been dad’s 1st cousin. I got to meet dad’s only living first cousin.  They got to see each other for the first time since they were really, really, little.  One of my second cousins (I think – she’s the daughter of one of dad’s first cousins) is really into genealogy, and she lives in the area.  Maybe I can finally have a bit of a family again.

Okay so for my birthday I got:

1 funeral

1 work bitch slap

0 flowers

0 presents from the hubby

2 awesome nights

At Thursday open knit I got to have dad & hubby bring cake.  So the girls got to meet dad. Dad has now mentioned about going too 0_O

Friday night, after the suckiest afternoon on record, the knit girls took me out for dinner. It was awesome. I got to laugh and smile. I still had a migraine from the sobbing, but I took some ibuprofen and slept it off.

My confidence is nill. So for now, it’s time to fake it and get shit done.

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About xcat9

A slightly off crafter with an ever growing queue of projects.

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