Posted on

8 9 2011

Things could be better. They improved in one way and worsened in another.

Work: Career Suicide. I got pushed by a team member on the big Staples project for about a half hour on a conference call. I ended up crying, I tried to keep it together but it was a lot of verbal attack. A lot of political things occurred and then I was told I was no longer the PM on the project. TO which I was greatly relieved. Apparently voicing it within the department was wrong. I still maintain it was the right decision, my boss on the other hand is very upset that my make lemonade attitude was visible. Apparently I am to wallow in my failure publicly. So that’s kind of killed my self-esteem. I have now started working on my resume. My current boss is not a good mentor, and I think that’s what I need.

School: The class is over. I have passed. It was a learning experience on multiple levels: I drowned myself with too many responsibilities this summer. Until work is under control I am going to back off of the added stress.

Health: BP continues to be the huge issue. I have again committed to doing the daily readings. I have not had a chance to get back into the gym yet. I am hoping tomorrow night perhaps. (That’s when school was).

Eating has ebbed and flowed – some good days, some bad. The bad though are not as bad as I historically was. I have gotten better about not eating multiple meals to make folks happy. I do however still have a dessert once a day. I need to get back on tracking. Can still e-mail you with that?

SO emotionally feeling like a failure since I base so much of my self esteem on work. Not happy about having piled so much on myself this summer. I actually told the husband the next time he sees me doing something like this he is to tell me. I will continue to put one foot in front of the other. I think my boss is wrong about the wallowing in failure in public, but I will do what I can to appease him without causing long term issues for myself.

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About xcat9

A slightly off crafter with an ever growing queue of projects.

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