So it’s 2015, and life did not turn out as I had planned back in the 80’s. I turn 40 this year, and it’s time to get my shit on track.
I’ve got lofty goals, big dreams, and a better life to lead. I just have to lay down the burdens that I placed on myself. I’m going to own it.
The weight, it’s there because I use food. Just like I use money. Just like I use stuff.
I use it when I am bored
I use it to escape things I’d rather not do
I use it to sooth sadness
I use it to bolster happiness
I use it in anger
And sometimes for the intended purpose.
Life has had some really awesome times, as well as a lot of sucky ones.
The thing is I need to stop wallowing in the bad stuff.
Shit happens, but most of this was more than 20 years ago.
I am in physical and emotional pain. I’ve worked good and long at the emotional stuff. Hate to say it, but that’s as good as it’s going to get until my waist catches up.
So this year, much like years prior, I am going to try to make differences. I think I got smarter about it this time. I know me better.
Saying I will lose x amount by 40 will set me up for failure.
I still live in my very black and white world. It’s all or nothing.
So instead I am going to make 40 changes in my life by forty.
They may be pounds lost, thousands of debt repaid, boxes and bags of crap set free.
Today I made 3 steps towards that 40×40:
I got off my ass and walked.
I went to get groceries rather than buy take out- and used them!
I got this post out of my head and on to WordPress.
The walking, well I somehow talked 3 friends from very different parts of my life into doing the 2,015 in 2015. I want to pull my weight. It a core dogmatic rule in my world. So sick or not, I got up, got dressed and did some. Not the full 1.5 I wanted to, but I did enough that today the team still went over our quota. I helped. I feel good about me. I hope between this ragtag group we
can keep it up. I really want to run. I know I need to rebuild stamina. One foot then the other. Rinse, Repeat.
What’s the best way to repay your body for working out? Fast food!
Wait, no…real food.
But, but, but why cook when you can get the yummy stuff in a second from the drive through?
I have to remind myself moment by moment: it’s 2 fold.
A) I don’t eat as much junk when forced to cook for myself.
B) in theory it is more economical to cook than fast food.
So I talked my self down from Wendy’s and into Jewel.
It’s a victory.
I need to get the words out of my head. Then the whole commitment thing comes into play and I don’t have the right paper or pen or mood…
Did. Done. Now to do it again.